Blog Posts

Home Sweet Apartment: Settling In

In the conclusion of his four-part series on “rightsizing,” Dan Carlson explains the joyful process of making new friends and becoming an active part of a welcoming community. In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey suggests that each of us pause to consider two things: who are we, and what do we want in life? Then, he says, we should strive to achieve that which we have envisioned. This is exactly what Bonnie and I did as we went about “rightsizing” our lives, and the outcome has been better than we had any right to expect. Full disclosure, there were times during this process when we got frustrated (Why won’t the cable TV people answer the phone?), and others when we got tired (Time for a nap!). But now that we are settled in and enjoying the lifestyle and living arrangement we had imagined, any minor challenges we faced along the way are history. Our neighbors here at Overture Ridgmar are overwhelmingly warm and welcoming, and we are enjoying becoming acquainted with a community of folks about our age with whom we share so similar interests. Every week there is a range of social opportunities—happy hours, breakfasts, etc.—affording the chance to get to know more about our neighbors and our neighborhood. One morning each week, a group of men at Overture Ridgmar gather and drive to a nearby restaurant for breakfast. There are many good things about living here, but getting to know these fellows, all of whom, like me, are retired, is at the top of my list. An outsider seeing this group of guys gathered at a breakfast table would not know the backgrounds or variety of experiences represented therein, but I do, and I am grateful to be able to join them. Residents who enjoy board or card games have a number of choices each week, while those interested in physical fitness can participate in Tai Chi, Yoga and Line Dancing. Bonnie and I feel especially lucky to be directly down the hall from the fitness room giving us easy access to a treadmill, an exercise bike and a cross-trainer. Outdoors, there is a paved walking path and a community garden, along with a large and lovely pool (which our grandchildren love). An added benefit of Overture Ridgmar is its location in the city of Fort Worth, a town we love. We have a range of entertainment and cultural attractions, great shopping, very nice restaurants, and quality medical care within easy reach. Traffic had been a major problem where we lived before, so we are delighted that we now drive on streets that are far-less congested. When we decided on Overture Ridgmar, there was one residence available in the floor plan we liked and we secured it. For us, our apartment—our home—is perfect. The layout gives us two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, high ceilings, a terrific kitchen, a washer and dryer, and colossal storage. Our place also has a separate office with French doors and, notably, thick walls and the resultant quiet and solitude we were seeking. One very important reason for our move was the desire to be free from the maintenance and upkeep associated with home ownership. Thanks to the outstanding management team at Overture Ridgmar, that vision is a reality. It is comforting to know relief from any maintenance issues is but a phone call away. Recently, one of our new neighbors put it this way: “When I owned a house and sat on the back porch, all I saw in the yard was things that needed to be done!” Here at our new home, we have a good-sized deck which we have furnished with two comfortable chairs and an assortment of lovely flowering plants. When Bonnie and I sit out there in the evening, all we see is the beautiful view. And we are loving it! For Dan and Bonnie, every day at Overture is an opportunity to expand their horizons and enjoy this new exciting chapter of life to the fullest. They are thrilled to have left the stressful responsibilities of homeownership behind, and are loving being part of a thriving, enthusiastic community of peers with whom they are busy making new memories. Contact us to become part of the Overture family today. Like Dan and Bonnie, discover the joys of the rightsizing experience. ABOUT AUTHOR Daniel Carlson Daniel Carlson is a retired police officer, former law enforcement educator and present-day active author. He and his high school sweetheart Bonnie, have been married for over half a century and have recently co-authored a book titled, “Home Sweet Apartment…Getting Rightsized in Our Seventies.” The young at heart couple are currently loving life at Overture Ridgmar , which is in the Great State of Texas, and in purposefully close proximity to their three children and seven terrific grandchildren. Connect with Dan via: Website: www.danbonbooks.com Facebook: Facebook.com/danbonbooks Blog: www.danbonbooks.blog

Home Sweet Apartment: Making the Move

Dan and Bonnie Carlson had just committed to a new life at Overture Ridgmar and were thrilled with their choice. But in between signing on the dotted line and becoming part of an exciting and stimulating community, lay the daunting task of moving. The idea of packing up an entire lifetime of accumulated stuff and figuring out what to keep and what to leave behind, was both overwhelming and exhausting. In part 3 of Dan’s four-part series on “rightsizing,” Dan shares their strategy for success. As soon as we settled on Overture Ridgmar for our new home, we listed our house with a realtor and crossed our fingers in hopes that things would move quickly. And they did. Our place sold in less than one day! We celebrated our good fortune, of course, but as euphoria faded to reality, the enormity of the task that lay before us came into focus. We knew that time would be an issue, for the buyers had asked to close in thirty days and we had agreed. The clock was ticking, and there was no time to waste! When we began to identify the veritable mountain of chores that had to be accomplished in such a short period of time, we were reminded of a popular aphorism: Question: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time. Our solution to avoid being overwhelmed by events was a simple one. We compiled a list of things that needed doing, and then went about accomplishing them in a gradual and methodical fashion. We would check off items as they were completed, and add new things as they came to our attention. Sticking to this comprehensive but flexible list (updated regularly) gave us a feeling of confidence, for we could see that we were actually getting things done. And much like eating an elephant, we knew everything could not be completed on the first day or even in the first week. This project would take time, and it would be important to stay rested and focused. To that end, Bonnie and I made a commitment to continue one of our hallowed traditions, afternoon naps. And while it may seem counterintuitive to carve out time for naps, or other diversions, in the midst of all that needed to be done, the value of setting aside time for rest cannot be overstated. Over the fifty years of our marriage, Bonnie and I had accumulated a lot of “stuff,” and much of it had outlived its usefulness. In preparing for the move, we separated items into four categories: Take With, Give Away, Donate and Discard. Our children helped by identifying and accepting items they were fond of, and several local charities were appreciative of the things we gave them. We took this process seriously, and were uplifted by the cathartic effect of being freed from having to store and haul around an enormous load of unnecessary baggage. Although we had not yet selected a mover, I was certain about one thing: I was not going to be doing it myself! Any thoughts I might have had about a career as a mover ended years ago when a friend asked me to help move a piano to an upstairs room in his home. With only a few minor abrasions, some damaged wallboard and a broken railing, we finally succeeded, but I learned a valuable lesson that day: it is worth paying professional movers who know what they are doing. Now that the move was behind them, Dan and Bonnie eagerly faced the next adventure: Becoming an active and integral part of their new community. In the final chapter of his “rightsizing” series, Dan celebrates completing this life affirming transition. ABOUT AUTHOR Daniel Carlson Daniel Carlson is a retired police officer, former law enforcement educator and present-day active author. He and his high school sweetheart Bonnie, have been married for over half a century and have recently co-authored a book titled, “Home Sweet Apartment…Getting Rightsized in Our Seventies.” The young at heart couple are currently loving life at Overture Ridgmar , which is in the Great State of Texas, and in purposefully close proximity to their three children and seven terrific grandchildren. Connect with Dan via: Website: www.danbonbooks.com Facebook: Facebook.com/danbonbooks Blog: www.danbonbooks.blog

Home Sweet Apartment: Choosing Our New Home

Previously, Dan and Bonnie Carlson had taken the huge leap of deciding to “rightsize” in order to pursue a physically, emotionally, and socially enhancing lifestyle, but now another major decision awaited: Where would they find the peaceful, fun, stress-free environment to call home? In part 2 of Dan’s series on “rightsizing”, follow the Carlson’s as they wade through the maze of choices to find the right answer. Describing a boyhood adventure, the Irish writer Frank O'Connor related how, while out exploring, he and his friends came to an orchard wall that seemed too high to climb. Their solution was to toss their hats over the wall, so they had no choice but to follow. In other words, there was no turning back. They had to climb over the wall. Much like the young boys in O’Connor’s tale, upon making the decision to sell our home and move to an apartment, Bonnie and I had thrown our metaphorical hats over the wall. What we were about to undertake signified a major lifestyle change for us and, while we were excited and committed, we were also realistic. We knew a great deal of work lay before us. Having decided to remain in the general region where we currently resided, we began to get serious about finding the living arrangement that would be the right “fit” for us. We had owned houses for almost fifty years, and enjoyed the freedom to paint or renovate as we saw fit. We wondered, though, how well we would adapt to the restrictions that come with an apartment lease. Inconsiderate neighbors can be a burden in any environment, of course, but how would it be if that sort of person lived directly next to—or above or below—us? With those concerns in mind, we set out to examine a cross section of rental choices in four general categories: Private Homes There were some very attractive rental homes available in desirable areas, but we were concerned about the issue of “permanence.” In making this move, we were looking for a long- term arrangement, and wanted to avoid any situation where the owner might put the house up for sale or decide to move back in himself. Traditional Apartment Complexes Reflective of the population growth in our area, new apartment complexes were popping up all the time. In visiting them, we found the “vibe” of the more-trendy options was tailored to a much younger demographic, and those that were family oriented appealed directly to, well… families. Since we were seeking, among other things, a quiet environment, we did not feel either of these would suffice. Continuing Care Communities In this sort of facility, residents can access a range of services including independent living, assisted living and nursing home care. Here, a person could—on one campus—age in place and receive care based on needs over time. While attractive, we decided against a place like this for two reasons: First, the cost is very high and, second, we did not feel that we needed (at least at this point) the level of extended care these places offer. Over-55 Active Adult Communities Like many folks, Bonnie and I tend to be skeptical of product advertising. That being so, we had our doubts when we learned of Active Adult Communities advertising such things as spacious maintenance-free apartments, designer living, fun activities, clubs, social outings and resort-inspired services. Those sorts of places might exist, we thought, but we doubted they would fit our needs or fall within our price range. Upon visiting several Age Qualified 55+ Communities, though, we were amazed and impressed. Clearly, someone had identified a “niche” market of folks who, like us, wanted to be safe and comfortable in affordable surroundings, and then designed 55+ communities near me to meet those needs. Wow! It looked like we had found the sort of living arrangement we had been looking for! Greystar’s Overture Active Adult rental apartments were far and away the most appealing to us. So after several visits, we settled on Overture Ridgmar . Located on the more-rural western edge of Fort Worth, it would place us in close proximity to excellent medical facilities, a warm and welcoming church, and a wide range of shopping. This community of spacious apartments, secure grounds and parking, attractive and well-maintained landscape, and incredibly helpful and professional staff appealed to us immediately. We were smitten! Now all we had to do was sell our house, winnow through our belongings, and make the actual move. But that wouldn’t take long … would it? Having chosen Overture Ridgmar, Dan and Bonnie were both excited and a little stunned as they realized what lay in store. In his next “rightsizing” feature, Dan explains just how he and Bonnie approached the overwhelming task of moving. ABOUT AUTHOR Daniel Carlson Daniel Carlson is a retired police officer, former law enforcement educator and present-day active author. He and his high school sweetheart Bonnie, have been married for over half a century and have recently co-authored a book titled, “Home Sweet Apartment…Getting Rightsized in Our Seventies.” The young at heart couple are currently loving life at Overture Ridgmar , which is in the Great State of Texas, and in purposefully close proximity to their three children and seven terrific grandchildren. Connect with Dan via: Website: www.danbonbooks.com Facebook: Facebook.com/danbonbooks Blog: www.danbonbooks.blog

Home Sweet Apartment: Moving? Do We Really Have To?

Dan and Bonnie Carlson found themselves at a crossroads. Homeownership that had in the past been so right, was beginning to seem, well… so not right. In fact, it was actually hindering their ability to fully embrace and enjoy their current stage of life. In this, the first of Dan’s four-part series on “rightsizing”, Dan focuses on coming to terms with the need to make a change—and just exactly what that would entail. After more than fifty years of marriage, I had a stock answer whenever my wife, Bonnie, suggested we consider moving: “That’s between you and your next husband.” In other words, I was dug in and had no intention of budging from our home. My very patient bride usually just smiled at my light-hearted comment. We both knew there would be a myriad of things involved in a move and neither of us, especially at our age, was enthused about starting down that road. But time has a way of catching up with people—and houses. For example, our home had two levels, and we noticed that the stairs had become increasingly difficult. We weren’t visiting the upstairs rooms as often as we used to. And those lovely wood floors we installed several years ago, well…a slip and fall on that hard surface could be life-changing. As the saying goes, “getting old is not for sissies!” The house itself was in excellent condition, but there was always some sort of maintenance or housekeeping issue to deal with. I had long taken pride in personally handling most repairs and renovations that came my way but, with age, I no longer relished climbing an extension ladder to clean the gutters or repair a piece of loose trim. Even interior maintenance had become a challenge. Our vaulted ceilings meant the process of something as simple as changing a bulb in a recessed light fixture had become a major production. We lived in a lovely community and were blessed with wonderful neighbors. But over time, the area had experienced tremendous population growth, traffic had increased exponentially and road construction was a constant nightmare. We’d reached the point of preferring to stay home to avoid driving in the area and were missing stores, events and restaurants we had long enjoyed. Perhaps Bonnie was right. Maybe it was time to think about a new living arrangement. Needless to say, this would be a major life event. That being so, we took the time to carefully consider who we are, what we hoped for in life, and what we wanted our new lifestyle to look like. We determined that we were seeking to be free of home maintenance, to be able to relax, to volunteer, to read, to write, and to live economically. Further, we hoped that by “rightsizing” our lives in this way, we would be able to fashion a lifestyle characterized by reduced stress and increased personal contentment. Incidentally, describing our move as “rightsizing” rather than “downsizing” is more than a mere exercise in semantics. Simply stated, we were not interested solely in ridding ourselves of unneeded possessions or reducing our footprint on the planet. Instead, our aim was to craft a lifestyle that would reflect what we were hoping for in our hearts. Once we made the decision to move, Bonnie and I knew our work was cut out for us. But we were excited about the goal we had set for ourselves, and certain that the outcome would be well worth the effort. So, now Dan and Bonnie had decided on the “what,” but what about the “where?” In the next piece from this four-part series, Dan explains how they chose their perfect new home. ABOUT AUTHOR Daniel Carlson Daniel Carlson is a retired police officer, former law enforcement educator and present-day active author. He and his high school sweetheart Bonnie, have been married for over half a century and have recently co-authored a book titled, “Home Sweet Apartment…Getting Rightsized in Our Seventies.” The young at heart couple are currently loving life at Overture Ridgmar , which is in the Great State of Texas, and in purposefully close proximity to their three children and seven terrific grandchildren. Connect with Dan via: Website: www.danbonbooks.com Facebook: Facebook.com/danbonbooks Blog: www.danbonbooks.blog

How to Practice Gratitude This Fall

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns. I am grateful that thorns have roses.” Jean Baptiste Alphonse Karr Simply put, gratitude is about attitude. Just decide the glass is not half empty but half full and transmit that optimism to the people in your life. You’ll be amazed at how your positive spirit is both contagious and inspirational to others. As we approach the season of appreciation, the concept of how to practice gratitude takes center stage with a commercial, sort of in-your-face blitzkrieg. Yes, it can be overkill. But if being barraged by Hallmark sentiments can motivate us to focus for just a moment on what and whom we can be grateful for, that’s a good thing. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey According to recent research, having and expressing gratitude as we age can significantly impact our quality of life and the quality of our relationships. Results of one study showed that those who kept weekly gratitude journals were more active and experienced fewer physical symptoms, felt more connected to others, were more likely to reach their goals and just generally had a better outlook on life. Clearly, a little gratitude goes a long way toward making the most of what life has to offer. “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” Albert Schweitzer It’s so easy to take the special people in our lives for granted. There is no time like the present to recall a new buddy who made you feel welcome. How about that cooking teacher who helped you create the perfect pasta sauce? Did you ever tell them how much you appreciated their guidance and friendship? Maybe it’s time for a phone call to an old friend to clear up past misunderstandings or just to let him or her know you still care. Pick up a card or box of chocolates for a person that impacts your life for the better on an ongoing basis. Or just try a smile and a heartfelt thank you to a staff member who made your transition into your new lifestyle a little easier. There are no strict rules on how to practice gratitude. The best advice is simply to follow your heart. While you’re reaching out, don’t forget family. Ironically, it’s often those we cherish the most, that hear how much we appreciate them the least. Tell the kids how much you love them every chance you get. You are not only making them feel valued, you are teaching them how easy and important it is to say, “I love you!” Gratitude is like a boomerang. When you put it out into the world, it inevitably comes right back to you. Take the time to let the people in your life know how much they matter and you will instantly feel that gratitude returned. “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” John F. Kennedy

Benefits of Music Therapy

Hear that? The halls are alive with the sound of music and for good reason. From the moment we are born, we’ve all got the music in us, but the power of music to enhance our lives as we age is particularly profound. The older we get, the more familiar tunes can positively impact our well-being, connecting us to past experiences, and uplifting our spirits. In fact, music has proven to be a valuable therapeutic tool, widely used in the fight against age-related issues. Literally defined as the intentional use of music to bring about a specific physical, mental or emotional change, music therapy is a secret weapon hiding in plain sight. Easy access. Unlimited choices. And no matter how hard the rock, no pain the morning after. With its established track record, music therapy has become an integral part of rehab programs in clinics, hospitals, halfway houses, and senior centers worldwide. Clearly when it comes to restoring or retaining key skills in a variety of areas, sometimes Madonna and Mozart can accomplish what medicine cannot. Cognitive Music therapy can help with memory retention and thought processing. Just hearing a song can evoke a memory even decades after the event. In the case of dementia patients, music from their childhood or young adult years has proven to be effective in obtaining a positive response and involvement, even when the patient can no longer communicate. Speech Studies show that music therapy can help older adults answer questions, make decisions and speak more clearly. It can help stroke victims speed up the process of recovering their verbal skills and ease depression and confusion, two common post-stroke side effects. Music can also slow the deterioration of language skills in Alzheimer’s patients. Relaxation Playing music can have a calming effect that eases stress and reduces agitation in the elderly. Slow songs like ballads and lullabies at bedtime can inspire a sound and peaceful night’s sleep. Physical Music therapy can get you moving. Who can resist dancing to the beat which helps promote coordination and endurance. Even if the only motion is foot tapping or hand clapping, music can get the blood flowing. Social Sharing a musical experience with a group can create an opportunity for bonding that helps ease loneliness and depression. Music of our own generation can encourage us to share memories and develop relationships. You don’t have to have a problem or a prescription to reap the benefits of music therapy. Simply surround yourself with your favorite tunes anytime, anywhere and experience the magic. At the very least it will put a smile on your face and a song in your heart. It will, it will...Rock You!